My reputation is ruined. For a couple months, I’ve been getting the evil eye from Gus, my granddaughters’ cranky amazon parrot. His cage door stays open and he loves to climb up the outside of the cage to the open tray area on top, which has a wooden perch mounted above. He perches there and squawks loudly, making himself heard over my four noisy granddaughters. About a month ago, I was sitting at their dining room table reading and unaware that Gus was marching across the floor to attack me. One of my granddaughters yelling for me to run, just as Gus latched onto my ankle, gave me my first feel for how strong a parrot’s beak is. He didn’t want to let go of my ankle and when he finally did, he had taken a small chunk out of my ankle.
In the intervening weeks, I am always wary around Gus and as many days I watch my granddaughters after school, it’s become obvious that something about me angers Gus a great deal. Gus also attacks my daughter, so one of my granddaughters said maybe Gus knows I’m their mom’s mom, such is the reasoning of a 9 year-old, but she might be right.
Fast forward to Wednesday, after school, I was sitting on their sofa and not paying attention to Gus, when one of my granddaughters yelled and told me to run. Gus had waddled all the way across the room and was within a yard of me. One of the 9 year old twin granddaughters came to the rescue with a broom from the kitchen and we got Gus onto the broom handle and put him in his cage.
Yesterday, I sat on their loveseat and was reading on my cell phone, when the 10 year-old granddaughter again yelled, “Run Grandma!” I stood up and tried to fend off a parrot attack with my cell phone and one of the granddaughters came with the broom, but Gus had moved from being a fearless fighter to a deranged loco bird intent on annihilating me. Yes, I was being chased around the room by a parrot waddling across the floor (in my defense, he moves pretty darned fast). The 10 year-old ordered me to go outside on the porch until she got Gus back in his cage.
The shame of being run out of the house by a parrot still stings. When the girls told me it was safe to come back inside, the 10 year old gave me a stern talking to. She lectured, “Grandma, you aren’t good in a crisis and you move too slow.” Then she said, “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, Grandma, but it’s the truth,”
Defeated by a demented parrot……… how do I ever recover my reputation… Ahem, my sons left a BB gun in the bedroom closet when they moved out… Nahh, just joking, I won’t shoot Gus, but that psycho, will be locked inside his cage when I’m at their house:-)