Brain-sucking spiders

May the conspiracy gods rest tonight, Australian officials report they located a debris field.   Let’s hope CNN’s Don Lemon can safely take off his tinfoil hat and stop worrying about the possibility of a black hole swallowing up unsuspecting airliners…..  JK, came up with this simple no frills explanation.  For the sake our collective sanity, let us hope this Australian debris field is the missing Malaysian jetliner and may the families receive some long overdue closure.  Long ago, when news reporting had time constraints on air and word count constraints in print, Ms Anna Raccoon (blogger extraordinaire) discussed at length the new age journalists compared to old-school reporters in a recent post, “Forgive Us Our Press Passes”.  In her usual erudite style, Ms Raccoon writes:

“They ‘reported’ the news from wherever the editor had had the sense of humour to send them. ‘Timbuktu’? They hired a camel. ‘Baghdad’? Then they hired a bodyguard – and an interpreter too. They didn’t sit in an expensive hotel suite in Beijing offering ‘live updates’ on the situation nearly 3,000 miles away in Kuala Lumpur.”

Yes, Ms Raccoon, so true, nor did they sit in a TV studio and speculate about Black Holes or….

“Here’s another theory I’ll just throw out there: what about the plane entered a wormhole into another dimension? I don’t know if that’s how the science works, though.”

Yes, in place of hunting down facts we present crackpot theories as worth our time exploring….  After uttering ridiculous nonsense like this can anyone ever take him seriously as a news reporter?

When my kids were young and one of them said something ridiculous, I would put my hand on his/her head and ruffle the hair with my fingers as I laughingly exclaimed, “Oh no, it’s a brain-sucking spider that got you!” (sometimes if the utterance was totally idiotic, I even added, “Oh no, it’s starving!”).   Who knew brain-sucking spiders wiped out most of the journalistic community…..  Or I could speculate that the brain-sucking spiders died out from lack of a food source.  Who knows, conspiracy theories abound.


Filed under General Interest, The Media

4 responses to “Brain-sucking spiders

  1. JK

    I’m so happy – in these modern times – somebody finally – has re-introduced into Blogdom the word


    Candidly it’s given CrackSmokers a worse image than Republicans enjoying taxpayer funded vacations.

    A Pox on all their Houses.

  2. JK, A wormhole swallowed up the missing plane??? Seriously, there are literally thousands of more relevant news stories out there and this idiot wastes our time speculating about the plane entering another dimension…. No wonder CNN keeps losing viewers. But in all honesty, a lot of people who should know better kept looking for the action novel plot twist rather than the more obvious scenarios. All the cable news networks overindulged in the wild speculations. Sometimes the answers aren’t very complicated.

  3. JK

    No LibertyBelle.

    I mean your calling the kettles and pots together black.

    And as an aside – it’s no wonder the Malaysian government isn’t “co-operating” with us – the crackpots all sang ad infinitum “The number one theory is pilot/co-pilot suicide.” … Well that and black holes.

  4. JK

    Wisht I’d thought of something a few seconds before

    Black wormholes. A pox on all 24/7 media houses.

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